I use this story in my lectures and seminars, but on one occasion, I had to tell it to my kids. Ever since then, they have been trying to find the positive in all the negative events. “Too cold for the beach? Well, at least we can go and play tennis.” Once we drove an hour to the Skatium, just to find out that they had a hockey tournament. “Well, at least we can watch a hockey game!”
The Chinese T’ai Chi symbol (generally known as the Yin and Yang symbol) was created to explain the entire universe. Everything is made of opposites: day-night, hot-cold, up-down, fire-water, male-female, positive-negative, summer-winter, Heaven-Earth.
In the symbol itself, there is a little yin in the yang, and there is a little yang in the yin. A little bit of positive in the negative, and a little bit of negative in the positive.
Whether we follow the oriental philosophy, or just common sense, there is always something positive in any event. If we add the reasoning element to this thought, then we conclude that everything happens for a reason, and there is always something positive in anything that happens.
Sometimes we need to think hard before we find the positive, especially in some traumatic events. However, eventually we can find it. In some cases, it may take years before we do, but we do.
Think back at any major negative event in your life. Have you had any trauma? Any broken bones? A broken heart? How many times over? Yet, you have overcome most of those difficulties, right? If you think about it, some of them made you grow as a person. Some of them made you who you are today.
Do you have any difficulties today? Why be desperate? Why not just think ahead, and know that you will overcome them. Something that bothers you today may be ancient history in a few months. Why not just think positive and be happy that you are overcoming those difficulties?
The traffic on the roads giving you a hard time? Hey, count your blessings. You are, most likely, in an air-conditioned vehicle. There is roof over your head, the road is just about perfect (opposed to two-thirds of the planet), you will eventually make it to your destination anyway and you are one of the lucky people who has a car ,opposed to a few billion people who don’t, or even better, opposed to everyone from 10,000 years of human history until only about a hundred years ago.
Once you get into it, there are blessings everywhere. Your task is to find them. Try to look at every event from the positive side. Happier people live longer and healthier lives.
During one of my seminars, a lady asked this question, “I had a headache and I tried to stop it by thinking positive, but it didn’t work. How come?”
“What were you thinking?” I asked.
“No headache, no headache, no headache,” she replied.
The words she used were all negative. Those just reinforced her existing condition.
In order to make a positive change, you have to change even your basic vocabulary. You must use positive words.
Many times you may have to think hard to reshape the whole sentence.
Instead of “no headache,” how about, “With every breath I take, I feel better and better.”
Or how about, “My muscles are relaxing with each second that goes by. I feel calmer and looser. There is a pleasant warmth and relaxation all around me.” These are just examples. You can make up your positive thoughts as you go.
Positive thinking will take you a long way. Do you want to lose weight? Improve your health? Get better at school? Feel better overall? It all starts with a thought. Make it positive.
If you have hard time turning positive, daily affirmations can help. Try this: “Every day, in every way, I feel better and better.”
Say it as many times as you need to keep hearing it all the time. Eventually, it will stick with you.
If that doesn’t work, you may need a little help. Those who are inexperienced and needing help, try to meditate. There are many ways to meditate.
One way is to meditate with a goal in mind. Not just to relax, but to actually have a purpose, which in this case is to become more positive, happier and healthier overall.
It takes a few tries and practices, but eventually anyone can do it, regardless of age and lifestyle.
You can call it a brain exercise. Just like physical exercise — it is worth it! So, this year, when the rain season starts, think about the two guys.
Csongor Daniel, B.S., LMT, CPT, is an internationally known healer and lecturer.
Locally, he has also been working as a licensed massage therapist, massage instructor, personal trainer, T’ai Chi instructor, author, and wellness coach.
He is the author of “BIOTHERAPY: A Healing for the 21st Century” and a double DVD called “Energizing T’ai Chi Chi Kun.”
Date:May 28, 2006